Welcome to my first column! I’m thrilled to bring you along on my transformational money journey, which began seven years ago. During this time, I’ve uncovered the profound influence emotions have on our financial choices. By identifying and overcoming negative beliefs about money, we conquer fears and empower ourselves to become creators of our own lives.
Throughout this series, I’ll share insights and valuable lessons I’ve gathered, as well as personal stories, focusing on embracing our unique selves and building a confident relationship with money.
In April 2018, I found myself gazing out at a beautiful, almost surreal landscape after moving to a new city where I knew no one. Despite the scenic view, I felt far from proud of my situation and finances. I felt lost and numb, realizing I needed to find a different way of living. It was a moment of searching for deeper meaning, wondering what more life had to offer. Until then, life seemed to happen to me—I had to be strong and constantly react to external circumstances. Within, I was overwhelmed by feelings of fear, guilt, stress, and even shame about money. While I experienced a lot of financial successes, somehow, money never seemed to stick in my life.
Searching for happiness… are you?
I’ve realized I’m not alone in this. A not-so-stable childhood and a mindset fixated on scarcity provided an unhealthy start in life, driving me to seek control and success as a means of safety.
Standing now on the other side of those fears, I wish to share my story to touch hearts and inspire others to embark on their transformative journeys.
It’s common to fixate on what we want to have, believing that reaching certain goals leads to happiness. This “if, when” mindset traps us in the future, hindering our ability to relish the joy available today.
There’s no denying that money is crucial for life’s essentials like food and shelter. Yet, I discovered our survival-driven brains often activate protective mechanisms when faced with decisions that could improve our quality of life. These mechanisms can unintentionally trap us in comfort zones, limiting our potential and true happiness.
So, what are the first three steps to embrace happiness today?
1. Exercise Gratitude
The first step I embraced was practicing gratitude. By focusing on what I already had, I shifted my attention from what was missing. Daily gratitude transformed my perspective. I urge you to appreciate the beauty surrounding you—whether nurturing relationships, nature’s splendour, or life’s joyful moments. Each small appreciation can reshape your views, aligning your life with your true values.
2. Transform Your Mindset
As a money coach, I often meet individuals gripped by financial fears, unaware of a positive mindset’s power. Tune into your daily thoughts. Journaling became invaluable for me—dedicating a page to negative thoughts and another to positive affirmations shifted my mental focus, helping attract desires over fears. Where focus goes, energy flows, creating our reality.
3. Gain Clarity
Understand how you want to live and who you need to become to enjoy this life. Most of us are more aware of what we don’t like in life. Shifting our focus to what we do like changes the game of life for us.
In my next column, I will delve deeper into what can help you figure out more about how you love to live and the person you need to become to enjoy this new way of living.
As you reflect today, consider: What can you do daily to invite more happiness into your life?
Warmly,
Ellen Koster
Money and Business Coach (CMC®)
