By Dr. Michele D’Amico
Language is never neutral. It does more than describe reality—it defines it. The words we choose shape perception, direct emotion, and signal who deserves empathy or accountability. Nowhere is this more apparent than in how we talk about women.
The Power of Words in Framing Responsibility
Whether the subject is harm, ambition, or leadership, the language we use often diminishes women while excusing or overlooking the actions of others.
Take a simple example: She was abused versus He abused her. The first sentence sounds like something that happened without context, as if abuse simply appeared in her life. The second sentence shifts the focus onto the abuser, naming responsibility and clarifying agency.
This is not a matter of semantics—it is about accountability. Too often, our default phrasing softens the reality of violence and shields those responsible, while rendering women invisible.
The Lingering Cost of Biased Language
This linguistic imbalance appears across countless scenarios. We hear she was beaten instead of he beat her. News reports say she was found dead rather than he killed her. Even in everyday language, we hear she stayed instead of she survived.
The phrasing flips responsibility away from the perpetrator and centers it on the woman, often implying blame or weakness where there is actually resilience.
The consequences are profound. Language doesn’t just reflect culture—it reinforces it.
When we say a woman was in a “toxic relationship,” we disguise what may have been manipulation, coercion, or emotional abuse. When we reduce women’s pain to “drama,” “catfights,” or “girl problems,” we trivialize real harm and reframe legitimate reactions as overreactions.
These words carry an invisible cost. They condition women to doubt themselves, to silence their own instincts, and to tolerate environments that diminish them.
Early Messages That Shape Girls’ Identities
This dynamic begins early in life. From the time girls are small, they are described with words that limit their power and reinforce compliance.
She is “bossy” while he is “a natural leader.” She is “too much” while he is “confident.” She is “emotional” while he is “passionate.”
Girls are praised for being “good,” “quiet,” and “pretty.” They are rewarded for making themselves small.
As soon as they take up more space—by asking questions, expressing anger, or setting boundaries—they are told to be careful, polite, or considerate of others’ comfort.
Even well-meaning phrases like “don’t be too sensitive” or “try not to hurt anyone’s feelings” carry hidden messages: your needs come second, your feelings are inconvenient, your role is to preserve harmony at all costs.
How the Script Plays Out in the Workplace
By the time these girls enter the workplace, the script has already been written. Women are told to “tone it down,” “smile more,” or “read the room.”
Their ambition is reframed as threat. Their assertiveness is mislabeled as aggression. Their boundaries are interpreted as coldness.
The result is a culture that rewards compliance rather than innovation, and silence rather than courage.
Reclaiming Language as Justice
Reclaiming language is more than a communication strategy—it is an act of justice.
Consider the difference between She’s hard to work with and She holds people accountable. Or between She’s being dramatic and What is driving her response? Or even the shift from She should have left to Why did he make it unsafe for her to stay?
Each reframing changes not only the accuracy of the narrative but also the fairness of the story. And once a story is told differently, it is remembered differently. That memory then shapes how the next woman is treated when she voices her truth.
Changing Workplace Narratives
The workplace offers a clear example of how this shift can ripple outward. Imagine a meeting where a woman speaks up and is labeled “difficult.”
Now imagine reframing her contribution as “direct,” “clear,” or “principled.” That change not only alters how others perceive her, it reshapes the environment for women who speak after her.
Words do not just describe—they build context that defines what is acceptable and possible.
How We Can Shift the Story
So what can we do?
First, we can become conscious of the words we use in daily life. Notice when a phrase erases accountability or diminishes women’s power. Correct it out loud. Instead of He lost control, say He chose violence. Instead of She overreacted, ask What boundary was crossed?
Second, we can model this shift in front of others, especially children. When a girl is talked over at the dinner table, pause and invite her to finish. When a boy hears his sister described as “bossy,” reframe it as leadership. These small corrections teach the next generation that words matter.
Third, leaders in organizations must take responsibility for how language shapes workplace culture. This means challenging coded language in performance reviews. It means examining job descriptions for gendered wording that subtly discourages women from applying. It means calling out dismissive phrases in meetings that reduce legitimate conflict to “personality issues” instead of addressing systemic inequities.
Language is not just personal—it is structural.
Words as Tools of Liberation
Finally, each of us has the power to use words as tools of liberation. It can be as simple as saying, I believe you. It can be as bold as rewriting policies to eliminate minimizing language. It can be as personal as changing our own vocabulary from one that conceals harm to one that reveals truth.
Reclaiming voice does not always mean shouting louder. Sometimes it means speaking with greater clarity, honesty, and intention.
The revolution begins not only in public movements but in the quiet sentences we choose every day. By shifting the words we use, we shift the culture we create.
And when women’s stories are told with accuracy, courage, and accountability, we build a society where those voices are not diminished but amplified.
Word by word, sentence by sentence, the story changes. And when the story changes, so does the future.
